


"I Can't Help But Feel As Though They're Real"

by unusuallyeddie



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is a bookworm, Crowley is an idiot and doesn't understand bookworms, Fluff, Harry Potter spoilers, M/M, Protective Crowley, They're both a mess, crowley threatens authors that make his angel cry, crying aziraphale, we love them both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 12:09:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19393837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unusuallyeddie/pseuds/unusuallyeddie
Summary: When Aziraphale gets way too into modern literature, Crowley gets confused, though his heart is in the right place





	"I Can't Help But Feel As Though They're Real"

Aziraphale gasped from across the room. “Oh,  _ dear _ .” 

Crowley ignored him. The angel had been huffing and puffing over the book he was reading for the past few hours, as Crowley carefully misted the plant he had moved into the bookshop.

“Oh no!”    


Crowley sighed in frustration and put down the mister. “What on earth is so awful in…” He looked and the book cover and rolled his eyes. “ _ Harry Potter _ ?”   


“Oh, it’s just miserable.” Aziraphale gasped out, sounding a little too upset than what Crowley deemed normal for reading a book. “Remus Lupin, he’s a werewolf dear, oh he just had a child and then went and got himself killed in the war! It’s simply  _ dreadful _ , my dear.”

Crowley sighed again, this one resigned. “Do you need anything?”   


“I need J.K. Rowling to personally apologize for this slight.” Azirapahle said, only half-joking.

Crowley nodded.

~   


When J.K. Rowling got home that night, she found a letter carefully nailed to her door. As she read it, she grew paler and paler, eventually sinking into a sitting position for her knees could no longer hold herself up.

It had to be, all and all, the most intimidating letter she had ever read.

She contacted the police immediately, but according to cameras…

No one was ever there.

~   


Crowley swaggered into the bookshop, feeling rather proud of himself thank-you-very-much, only to see Aziraphale clutching another book to his chest, tears rolling down his adorable cheeks, this close to outright wailing. 

Crowley sighed, glancing at the book.  _ Game of Thrones _ .

He sat with his angel, patting his back comfortingly. “What happened now, angel?” He said softly, or, as softly as he could, which was still rather rough.

“It’s simply horrific.” Aziraphale gasped out, eyes a little too wild for comfort. “Barbaric, even! The way they all go after each other, the ways they torment and maim, it’s just awful!” He buried his face in Crowley’s shoulder.

~   


And when George R.R. Martin got home, he found a letter laying on his kitchen table. As his eyes scanned the single page, his stomach grew more and more knotted, and he clutched the table for support.

That had to be the most descriptive, most violent letter he ever read.

After contacting the police, he sat down to write, suddenly inspired. 

~   


“Th-thorin! After all he went through with Bilbo, instead of ending up together, he just  _ died _ !”   


Crowley growled, for J.R.R. Tolkien was already dead, and he was  _ so _ not finding out which direction the man went in.

~   


When Crowley got back to the bookshop the next day, he found Aziraphale crying over another book, and he found himself quite lacking in patience. 

“For someone’s sake, angel, why the hell do you continuously do this to yourself?” He exclaimed, snatching the book from Aziraphale’s hands, examining the cover.  _ Percy Jackson.  _ “Honestly, since when do you read modern literature anyway? You hate the stuff!”

“I decided to get into it, so to speak.” Aziraphale said crossly, wiping his eyes. “May I have my book back?”   


“No.”   


“Pardon?”   


“I’m tired of threatening authors because you keep reading books that upset you, so I’m confiscating it.” Crowley said in a huff, crossing his arms, book still in hand.

Aziraphale blinked. “My dear...you’ve been threatening the authors? Why?”   


“They made you upset! You  _ cried _ , angel!” The demon said incredulously, looking as lost as ever. What did Aziraphale expect from him? 

Much to his surprise, the angel started laughing, first a small chuckle that then evolved into a deep, full-body laugh. “Oh no, Anthony, that’s not...I enjoy reading these books. I enjoy feeling the emotions they make me feel. There’s a message in all of them, you see, that I wouldn’t have learned on my own. It’s heavy, yes, but I enjoy it. And really...” He blushed. “I can’t help but feel as though they’re real.”   


Crowley looked at him like he was crazy over the tops of his sunglasses. “I will never understand you.”   


~   


And if later that night found Crowley crying over the death of Sirius Black, well, we needn’t say anything about that.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for rarraby on tumblr, thanks for the prompt love!


End file.
